WHAT was your take on Sir Keir Starmer’s speech regarding Artificial Intelligence?
(a) It’s marvellous that the Government are finally realising the potential this technology offers.
(b) It will turn out to be a colossal waste of taxpayers’ money to no discernible benefit.
If you answered (b), you are probably familiar with the litany of catastrophic and hugely expensive IT projects in which various governments have got themselves involved. AI, in the private sector, will no doubt be utilised to increase efficiency, develop plans and ultimately make money. In the all-too-sclerotic and hopeless public sector it will simply be a useful backwater to which inept managers can kick the can – avoiding actually having to demonstrate an ability to solve problems.
I don’t know why, but whenever I see or hear Ministers waxing lyrical about the myriad benefits technology will bring, the more I want to count the spoons. It puts me in mind of those stories about explorers stumbling across some long-lost jungle tribe who have stacks of priceless gemstones, of which they know not the value. The newly arrived travellers beguile the locals into parting with their jewels in exchange for a cheap trinket, or possibly a mirror.
Bringing this story up to date, you can replace the tribesmen with the Government and our money, and the unscrupulous explorers with IT companies.
Whitehall has a truly lamentable track record in its involvement with IT. At every turn when we were promised that the wonders of computers were going to make everything better, we have instead taken delivery of poorly functioning hardware and software at eye-watering cost.
Readers might recall the National Health Service National Programme for IT fiasco – a total waste of £12.7billion or probably much more. This is but one of many failed IT projects that both Labour and Conservatives have their fingerprints all over. If you want more examples, and believe me, there are plenty; just type ‘failed Government IT projects’ into your search engine. (I would advise against this if you are struggling with Dry January.)
Yet despite repeatedly getting our fingers burned, here we are once again being seduced by the benefits of technology.
Now, I don’t want to cast aspersions, but I would hazard a guess that our Prime Minister’s knowledge of AI is about as good as my own. That is, it could be comfortably placed on the head of a pin and still leave room for an engraving of St Paul’s Cathedral. You need only read a transcript of his speech to hear the warning bells and klaxons sounding ominously loud.
Here are a few choice nuggets. I will leave it to you, dear reader, to decide how accurate these outlandish claims will be.
AI can save hundreds of thousands of hours lost to missed appointments.
It can spot potholes quicker.
Speed up planning applications.
Reduce job centre form-filling.
Help in the fight against tax avoidance.
And almost halve the time social workers spend on paperwork.
If I had been in the audience when this cavalcade of brilliance was unveiled, I would have called out, ‘Stop, Sir Keir, it’s too much!’
But of course, this catalogue of impressive innovation was (as any Governmental IT project should be) accompanied with the caveat: ‘And yes, there will be teething problems – of course there will.’
Those 11 words I think neatly encapsulate what the taxpayer should be worried about. Roughly translated they mean over budget, years late and not fit for purpose.
If you were in any doubt that this peroration was in some way over the top, just consider these appetising morsels:
It will make public services more human.
Reconnect staff with the reasons they came to public service in the first place.
A force that will turbocharge every single element of our Plan for Change.
The defining opportunity of our generation.
Forgive me for a prolonged bout of hollow laughter – public services more human? While they refuse to come into the office? It would be lovely to have medicine tailored to my own DNA and potholes mended and a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Here on Planet Earth, I can confidently predict that despite our PM’s promises, AI will – in public-sector hands – deliver no meaningful benefit whatsoever.
Waiting lists for operations will still be dreadful, council services farcical, policing far from ideal, jails overcrowded, etc etc.
Let’s end on a positive note. Medical AI might be able to identify chickenpox when you interact with it – it could also helpfully remind you that you need 20 mins per lb at 180 degree fan oven!
In cold print it’s even more risible.
