THE Government has announced that Sunday March 9 is to be Covid Day of Reflection 2025. A range of events has been organised by the Department of Health to remember the halcyon days of the pandemic.
From 8am on Reflection Day, surgeries and pharmacies will open in every city and town to administer mRNA ‘booster’ vaccines to all who have not been sufficiently protected from the deadly disease. Each recipient will be given a commemorative mug depicting King Charles III.
Between noon and 3pm there will be a mini-lockdown. Anyone found leaving their house will be tasered. Random homes will be targeted by crack Test and Trace teams to ensure compliance.
At 4pm Wembley Stadium will be the venue for a mass display of dancing from staff from the NHS hospitals that were overwhelmed by patients in 2020. The performances will be followed by the destruction of a piñata to represent the unvaccinated. Andrew Neil and Piers Morgan will start the beating. The event will end with a singalong. Professor Dame Sarah Gilbert will lead with the Dione Warwick classic Heartbreaker. Baroness Dido Harding of Test and Trace fame will follow with Money, Money, Money, while Dame June Raine from the MHRA will round off the proceedings with a reworking of Bob Marley’s Jamming, entitled Jabbing.
Throughout the day, the BBC will show highlights from the gripping news conferences that thrilled the nation during the emergency. Watch out for highlights such as ‘next slide please’ and ‘that one’s for you, Chris’. Several heroes of the hour including Johnson, Whitty, Van-Tam, Hancock and Vallance will reflect on how they strove valiantly to save the population from total annihilation during those unforgettable days.
At 7pm the Prime Minister (whoever he/she/they is) will join King Charles to lead the nation in a mass pot-banging in honour of the dedicated individuals who enthusiastically jabbed so many during those challenging times.
In addition to the above, individuals and businesses are encouraged to do whatever they can to reflect on their Covid experiences. Families can once again exclude irritable Uncle Cedric or dysfunctional son Eric by telling them they are not allowed in their ‘pod’.
Supermarkets are to reintroduce arrows on the floor of their aisles to remind customers that ‘social distancing’ is the only way to avoid airborne germs. Non-essential items such as deodorant will not be on sale.
Public houses will ensure that customers may have a drink only if there is a scotch egg on their table. Mask-wearing will be compulsory until the customer sits at the table with their protective scotch egg. Pubs will close at 10pm, after which time the virus becomes more threatening.
Homes for the elderly will not allow families to see their loved ones except by peering through a window at their sobbing relative. Midazolam and morphine will be administered at mealtime.
The Government has announced that the second Sunday in March 2030 is to be Bird Flu Reflection Day.
