Following Tim Davie’s resignation as Director General of the BBC, the Corporation’s Human Resources Department have been working round the clock with a crack team of recruitment consultants to compile a shortlist of possible replacements. TCW understands that the following are being considered for the post.
Andrew (the royal formerly known as Prince)
The late Queen’s second son has been kicking his heels since the latest revelations about his transgressions. With time on his hands since his enforced retirement from official duties, Mr Mountbatten Windsor is believed to be searching for a new job. It is not known whether the ex-prince has any views on world affairs, having been preoccupied with other types of affairs. He would, therefore, be a strong candidate as he is unlikely to interfere with the communists who infest the BBC’s Editorial Department
Lord Mandelson
Another friend of the blackmailing sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein is Labour’s ‘man for all seasons’, the irrepressible Peter Mandelson. A history of scandal cannot subdue the ‘Prince of Darkness’. His smooth sophistication and his ability to smooch with the Globalist ‘great and good’ would no doubt ensure safety of the television tax (aka the licence fee). He might also persuade the former Epstein acquaintance Donald Trump to be more emollient towards the Corporation.
Huw Edwards
Instead of sitting at home, drinking coffee and browsing on his laptop, surely this BBC stalwart’s time could be better employed back with his colleagues and friends at the Beeb. Given that Edwards is reported to be receiving a pension of up to £300,000, perhaps negotiations could lead to him accepting a reduced salary as Director General. If this were the case, his appointment could be portrayed as a prudent cost-saving measure.
Gary Neville
The Davos attendee is wasting his breath lamenting the state of the United midfield and the form of the Liverpool transfer duds. This garrulous socialist millionaire, the scourge of the flag-waving working class, could be the inspirational figure the BBC staff require. He might even be able to persuade his millionaire chum Jamie Carragher (Labour ’till I die) to replace Deborah Turness as the chief executive of BBC News.
Sir Lenworth Henry
Many will think it is time for the BBC to be led by a person of colour. With his vast experience under the media spotlight, who better to help meet the organisation’s diversity quota than the former comedian and current activist Sir Lenny? Amongst his qualifications is the distinguished role he played in the Covid scamdemic when he urged reluctant Black adults to ‘trust the facts’ and take the ‘safe and effective’ injections. Recently, he has become a strident advocate for the payment of reparations to Britain’s former colonies.
Izz al-Din al-Haddad
Another possible candidate who would tick the diversity box. The reputed leader of Hamas is known as the ‘Ghost of al-Qassam’ because of his low profile and the ever-present threat of assassination. Although many at Broadcasting House would welcome his appointment, their approval might be tempered by the thought of a cruise missile reducing their place of work to rubble. Despite this, the BBC is thought to be open to the idea of him ‘working from home (or tunnel)’. Haddad was unavailable for comment.
Jess Phillips
With hardly any chance of retaining her Birmingham Yardley seat at the next General Election, Jess will be eager to leave her current role as minister in charge of preventing a meaningful inquiry into Muslim grooming gangs. BBC journalists have shied away from reporting on anything that might challenge the open borders policy of recent governments and Jess would no doubt work to ensure that such reports never appeared.
Kate Garraway
Another candidate with extensive media exposure is Kate Garraway. Kate recently gave us a masterclass in how to avoid unpleasant truths when she cut off 100-year-old veteran Alec Penstone after he said: ‘I can see in my mind’s eye those rows and rows of white stones and all the hundreds of my friends who gave their lives, for what? The country of today? No, I’m sorry, but the sacrifice wasn’t worth the result of what it is now.’ Kate could be trusted to ensure that the voices of the people must never be heard.
Mr Blobby
Although some may feel that this rotund pink and yellow character does not display the gravitas required of the leader of a large organisation, he is unlikely to make the type of disastrous decisions that have driven the BBC into the journalistic gutter. Furthermore, Blobby is the candidate least tainted with scandal.
