IN A move that will thrill the surging Green Communists, images of animals will feature on the next series of banknotes from the Bank of England. Historical figures such as William Shakespeare, Winston Churchill and Jane Austen are to be dumped as they no doubt cause harm and distress to new arrivals. Unfortunately, the image of our treacherous King will still appear on the notes.
TCW offers suggestions as to which animals should replace our well-loved dignitaries . . .
Sloth
With an ever growing army of young people who choose to avoid work in order to spend their days in a haze, building theme parks on Minecraft, the sloth would seem to be a perfect candidate for the redesign. However, this would be a huge slur on the sloth which forages for a living and would hate to be compared to the freeloading layabouts.
Wyvern
As the old saying ‘sound as a pound’ gives some the illusion that our currency is not a massive Ponzi scheme with the stability of a chocolate teapot, it might be appropriate to use an image of an imaginary creature such as the dragon/bird/bat/serpent hybrid. This would unfortunately sully the name of the wonderful Midland Railway Company whose emblem was the Wyvern.
Jackdaw
The Corvus monedula must be the favourite of our Chancellor, Rachel Thieves. In Italy a criminal was said to have trained one of the winged pilferers to fly around stealing sparkly things. Rachel merely has to read a few words in Parliament to do the same thing. The rest of the crow family look with disdain at their felonious cousins as they do at the villainous Reeves.
Grey squirrel
There is no better animal to represent modern Britain than the greedy invasive grey squirrel. The beloved native red still manages to hang on in a few places but is ever threatened by the rapacious Yank. Soon the reds will be nothing more than a distant memory.
Slug
The slimy foe of the diligent gardener is the ideal creature to represent our political and legal establishment. The slug typically appears where it is not wanted and consumes without remorse anything you are nurturing for your health and enjoyment. The gastropod would be a fitting emblem for the Law Society or the House of Commons.
Loon
This duck lacks agility on land and consequently spends most of its time on water often with its head below the surface. The bird is therefore a perfect metaphor for and an apt description of, the great British public who wish to avert their eyes to the crimes of the Government and the Great Replacement.
Dog
A dog should be the clear favourite because of the unconditional love of this four legged friend. Sadly, because it is haram this animal, and many other favourites, will not make an appearance.
From 2030 it unlikely that there will be any notes, only tokens to be used by those who exhibit approved behaviour.
