Dear President Trump,
Congratulations on your return to the White House. Please pass on my kind regards to your good lady wife.
I write to you on behalf of the oppressed citizens of the United Kingdom. As you are well aware, we have been governed for over 30 years by corrupt and compromised individuals who have been destroying our culture and have pursued policies which are leading to our impoverishment and digital slavery. These people despise our history and our traditions and they are deliberately replacing the native population.
Our legal, medical and educational establishments have been contaminated with the ‘woke mind virus’ and our media and advertising industries are controlled by parasitical globalists. Our armed forces are more preoccupied with borders in Eastern Europe than those of their own country. Our Royal Family have become an expensive irrelevance and appear to owe their allegiance to the World Economic Forum.
In view of the above I would be grateful if you would consider taking action to ensure that the United Kingdom becomes one of the United States. I appreciate that Greenland and Canada are uppermost in your mind in this regard, and that there would be some disgruntlement from those in my country who prefer to be governed by individuals from such places as Slovenia, Malta and Latvia.
The people of the UK are notoriously inept at insurrection., and at the sight of some police thugs with batons drawn will quickly retire to the nearest hostelry. However, I know that you have various military facilities in this country and you could probably take control in a couple of days, or on a Saturday afternoon during the football (soccer) season.
Once we become the 53rd state my expectation would be that you would take urgent action to deal with our immigration crisis, reduce our taxes, slash the number of public sector employees, end the nonsense of Net Zero and sack anybody engaged in the ‘diversity’ industry. Perhaps you will also have room in Guantanamo for those who have shredded the social contract and flung it down the toilet, (or ‘the john’, as you would say). I am happy to provide you with a list of names of those who deserve incarceration.
I believe that a decision to annex the UK would be popular, especially if your Mr Patel is able to reform the CIA, the FBI and related organisations, you resist the temptation to spy on everyone, and steps are taken to rein in your food and pharmaceutical industries, as proposed by the estimable Mr Kennedy.
Please note that we are not keen on Rounders (Baseball).
As you know the UK is blessed with some beautiful golf courses, all large towns have a McDonald’s and the weather can sometimes be very pleasant in the spring.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
John Ellwood
