THE HEADMASTER has frequently spoken about change and growth, expounding how pivotal they are to the betterment of Rayner’s Lane Comprehensive. Some parents have been in touch to ask what this really means.
The Headmaster comments:
‘Change and growth are not two obscure words. They have a great deal of meaning, and if we are to see overall improvements, we must embrace these ideals. Change cannot happen without change and, in a similar way, growth cannot happen without growth. So, the question I ask is this: can change happen with growth or can growth happen without change? These are not mutually exclusive words, neither are they mutually dependent, however they are symbiotic of what a previous headmaster referred to as “post-neoclassical endogenous growth”.’
Thank you, Headmaster, for that clear and concise explanation.
Come fly with me!
The school’s popular model aircraft club has for many years operated successfully from the small 12ft x 2ft tarmac strip adjacent to the heat pumps. Recently however, with more members joining, there have been complaints about ‘slots’ being unavailable for taking off and landing. This is a great pity and something we are keen to address.
We are delighted to announce that Ms Reeves has agreed to the immediate construction of a duplicate strip of tarmac. Apart from a few formalities such as the Bat Survey, the Newt Survey, the Rare Flora Survey, and the Environmental Impact Survey, it should be chocks away and all clear for take-off by 2090!
Still staying with an aeronautical theme, it was a huge privilege to have the RAF’s recruitment team visit the school last week to outline what a career in today’s RAF might look like.
At the end of their exciting presentation, there was a raffle for two places for an AI generated experience of what a front-line combat role entails. Two lucky boys donned VR headsets for a thrills-and-spills two-hour-long fully immersive simulation.
It must be said that they hadn’t expected to be transported to a Nissen hut, where they were subjected to a lecture on white supremacy and the danger of microaggressions. Per ardua ad astra!
New word corner!
‘Recuse’
Some mistakenly think this is a contraction of recycle and reuse, dreamt up by our increasingly eccentric Head of Climate Studies, Mr Miliband.
No, the true meaning came to light following the appointment of Mr Hermer (or AG, as he is universally known) as Head of Human Rights Studies. It transpires that, many years ago, he was involved with the dismissal of Mr Adams, who was responsible for the now discontinued Gaelic module, as well as the organisation of the staff’s lively Christmas ‘pass the parcel’ game.
Mr Adams, who we thought had gone into comfortable retirement, has now contacted the school seeking financial redress over some imagined wrongdoing. This vexatious claim was going to be handled by AG, as he has a great deal of experience in such matters; however, after conversations with the Headmaster, he realised it would be better if he stood down – or, as he puts it, ‘recuses himself’.
Correction
The full-page advertisement, which appeared last week in the ‘Situations Vacant’ section of the local paper with the headline ‘Competent Bursar Required’, was published in error. Ms Reeves is doing an outstanding job for Rayner’s Lane and has the full and unequivocal backing of the Headmaster. We apologise for any distress this might have caused.
