TCW Defending Freedom has once again heard from Erasmus Demosthenes Hepplewhite (the Jabbing Actor). He reports that he is to be the keynote speaker at the All Shades of Brown conference due to take place in February 2026.
I HAVE to admit that the last few months have been rather difficult. My once regular Deliveroo assignments have been fewer and farther between on account of the food providers using a cheaper and more diverse labour force. However, hope springs eternal. In recent days the emergence of a new and virulent flu virus gives me the expectation that my unique talents as a crisis actor will once more be much sought after by the Government.
As I have mentioned on previous occasions, we members of the Brentford and Gunnersbury Artists Workshop have a long history of hosting talented creatives from the growing number of ethnically diverse people who have chosen to make this part of west London their home. The artists we have nurtured in our improvised theatre above the Ashanti Laundromat on Chiswick High Road include Brentford’s Aztec Panpipe Orchestra, the Nepalese Himalayan Mime Quartet, and a splinter group from the Société dramatique de Côte d’Ivoire who performed Molière’s Tartuffe using finger puppets. Their performance will long linger in my memory.
My reputation as a curator of such outstanding talent has deservedly spread far and wide. Today, I received an invitation to be the keynote speaker at a conference in the vibrant formerly English city of Leicester. The exciting event is titled All Shades of Brown.
The assembly has the goal of ‘reclaiming space for people from underrepresented cultural backgrounds in the UK’s creative sector’. The organisers have boldly declared that ‘global ethnic majority creatives don’t just exist on the edges of the cultural world, they belong at the centre of it’.
I have to say that their statements fill my soul with joy. Why, oh why is it that the mellifluous timbre of the panpipe is so absent from our radio channels? Why did neither Alan Yentob nor Melvyn Bragg ever make a single in-depth documentary about mime artistry in Nepal, and can anyone explain why African finger puppeteers are always relegated to the fringe? Of course, the answer to these questions is self-evident. There can be no doubt that blatant racism is the root cause of their exclusion!
The ambition of the organisers of the Leicester conference brought to mind yet more wisdom from dear, dear Dame Judi. It was on the occasion of her visit to Rada to present the Taylor Swift Award for Mime. ‘Dear boy,’ she reflected, ‘although some of us are blessed with unique talents, Thespis demands that we occasionally leave space for lesser mortals who earnestly struggle, strive and strain. Be a darling and find me a pink gin, double, no ice, and a Toblerone.’ Her words are amongst those I shall for ever cherish.
During these uncertain times we should indeed heed the words of our revered Dame and do our utmost to find places at the top of the bill for those who display varying shades of brown, or indeed yellow or black. I can assure you that Erasmus Demosthenes Hepplewhite will fight relentlessly to ensure their elevation to the centre of the cultural world, notwithstanding their level of talent or degree of suitability.
