AS I GET older, I find that I am increasingly talking to myself. I don’t mean thinking and keeping quiet, which is how the brain works generally when we try to process the million and one thoughts that fly through our heads all the time. I mean proper, out loud talking when you are the only person present. For some years now I have been having regular talks with my ‘other half’. Am I mad, bad and dangerous to know? After all, the common reaction would be: ‘Oh, poor Harry, he’s even taken to talking to himself’ . . . the preliminary stages to the care home.
Well, care home in the offing or not, I find it very helpful to do this. Not because I find myself a scintillating conversation partner full of wit, wisdom, bonhomie and knowledge, although occasionally I do because I am my own audience and I can be the judge of what’s funny, clever and intelligent and this makes me laugh at myself, but for the basic fact that speaking out loud makes me hear the words in the real world. It slows down my racing thought patterns and makes me focus on the issue I am thinking about. This makes me respond in a much more questioning and thoughtful way. And it gives me an opportunity to question my reasoning and to hear what I may sound like if I get into proper conversation with others.
I hadn’t much thought about self-talking, to be honest, it’s just something I do when alone, but lately I’ve been talking to myself more and more. This is probably because I’ve been on my own for nearly a year, so talking to myself seems a better idea than living in total silence, although I’m OK with that as well. And before you say ‘Why not watch the TV or listen to the radio?’ the standards of modern broadcasting leave so much to be desired that talking to myself offers much improved possibilities for entertainment, discovery and much else besides. It’s also good exercise for my vocal cords. As with many other things in life I’m a great believer in ‘use it or lose it’ and I do like conversing with people so talking to myself keeps up the skills needed to do this with interest. And I feel the benefits of it in terms of getting my thoughts outside my head and trying to get them more in perspective.
I’ve been motivated to do some research on this topic of self-talk; I wanted to know if it is the first sign of dementia or some such, and if many people do it. My results are positive and encouraging: far from being a precursor to deteriorating mental capacity, it would appear that my talking out loud when I am the only person in the room is a healthy sign and is a positive practice with many benefits.
A word of caution perhaps at this stage. Talking to oneself accompanied by hallucinations, disorganised and or erratic rambling, intense feelings of sadness and difficulty in sleeping may well be signs of a mental illness in which case the advice of a medical professional should be considered. But thankfully none of the aforementioned apply to me.
As it turns out, talking to oneself aloud is a common and normal behaviour. It can offer significant cognitive and emotional benefits. It can help us process thoughts, manage emotions and improve our mental performance. While it may be considered eccentric by any outside listener, it is a natural extension of our inner thoughts which we can crystallise and focus upon as opposed to leaving them swirling around in our mind competing with many other thought patterns.
I find that much research by such august bodies as Psychology Today confirms that talking to oneself is an exercise which promotes, among other things, self knowledge. We are all two people: the negative and the positive. By only thinking, it can be difficult to overcome the negative aspects which may prohibit us from a better course of action that our positive selves could accomplish. Talking out loud to our other self emboldens us to take the better route, whereas silence may allow the negative in us to prevail.
Talking out loud to ourselves inspires and helps us to achieve:
* Improved focus and attention: by distancing the myriad confused thoughts we can stay on track and be more efficient.
* Enhanced problem solving: hearing yourself talk through difficult stuff can lead to better solutions and make abstract ideas more realistic and achievable.
* Improved memory: speaking out loud can help to retain information and reduce ‘lag’ that accompanies the ageing process (you know the situation . . . you can’t quite grasp what you want in that instant but it pops up five minutes later when the conversation has moved on).
* Emotional regulation: talking to yourself out loud can help you work through difficult feelings like anger, sadness, fear, anxiety. ‘You can do this, Harry,’ can create a more positive frame of mind and make the difference between a positive outcome and a negative one.
* Motivation and confidence: positive self-talk can boost confidence, allay doubt and make a worrisome task achievable, especially before a difficult task or performance.
* Stress relief: talking, shouting, even swearing out loud to yourself can be a healthy way to vent or blow off steam when you are feeling frustrated and alone.
* Increased self-awareness: by externalising your thoughts you can gain greater awareness of your inner dialogue. This can help to overcome the negative self that is always trying to hold you back.
I feel better now. Just remember this: if you happen to call on me and by chance hear me arguing with myself I haven’t lost my reason. I’m just engaging in mental and vocal gymnastics that I am assured are doing me nothing but good and helping me to understand and negotiate this mad world we live in just a little bit better.
