At this time of year, many families will attend carol services or possibly gather round a piano in the front room. While the Twelve Days of Christmas is a definite favourite, it cannot be denied that geese a-laying and maids a-milking are somewhat outdated. TCW’s Carols Editor offers a modern twist:
On the first day of Christmas my MP sent to me
A carbon offset green tree
On the second day of Christmas my MP sent to me
Two trans doves
And a carbon offset green tree
On the third day of Christmas my MP sent to me
Three Bovaer cows
Two trans doves
And a carbon offset green tree
On the fourth day of Christmas my MP sent to me
Four tax hikes
Three Bovaer cows
Two trans doves
And a carbon offset green tree
On the fifth day of Christmas my MP sent to me
Five solar panels
Four tax hikes
Three Bovaer cows
Two trans doves
And a carbon offset green tree
On sixth day of Christmas my MP sent to me
Six wind turbines
Five solar panels
Four tax hikes
Three Bovaer cows
Two trans doves
And a carbon offset green tree
On the seventh day of Christmas my MP sent to me
Seven frozen pensioners
Six wind turbines
Five solar panels
Four tax hikes
Three Bovaer cows
Two trans doves
And a carbon offset green tree
On the eighth day of Christmas my MP sent to me
Eight furious farmers
Seven frozen pensioners
Six wind turbines
Five solar panels
Four tax hikes
Three Bovaer cows
Two trans doves
And a carbon offset green tree
On the ninth day of Christmas my MP sent to me
Nine climate warnings
Eight furious farmers
Seven frozen pensioners
Six wind turbines
Five solar panels
Four tax hikes
Three Bovaer cows
Two trans doves
And a carbon offset green tree
On the tenth day of Christmas my MP sent to me
Ten euthanasia pods
Nine climate warnings
Eight furious farmers
Seven frozen pensioners
Six wind turbines
Five solar panels
Four tax hikes
Three Bovaer cows
Two trans doves
And a carbon offset green tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas my MP sent to me
Eleven burly policemen
Ten euthanasia pods
Nine climate warnings
Eight furious farmers
Seven frozen pensioners
Six wind turbines
Five solar panels
Four tax hikes
Three Bovaer cows
Two trans doves
And a carbon offset green tree
On the twelfth day of Christmas my MP sent to me
Twelve Ozempic jabs
Eleven burly policemen
Ten euthanasia pods
Nine climate warnings
Eight furious farmers
Seven frozen pensioners
Six wind turbines
Five solar panels
Four tax hikes
Three Bovaer cows
Two trans doves
And a carbon offset green tree
Merry Christmas – bah, humbug.
If you appreciated this article, perhaps you might consider making a donation to The Conservative Woman. Unlike most other websites, we receive no independent funding. Our editors are unpaid and work entirely voluntarily as do the majority of our contributors but there are inevitable costs associated with running a website. We depend on our readers to help us, either with regular or one-off payments. You can donate here. Thank you.
If you have not already signed up to a daily email alert of new articles please do so. It is here and free! Thank you.
