I WAS a fervent fan of Simon and Garfunkel from their early days in the 1960s. After Paul Simon went solo, he continued to write some brilliant songs, many of which have become modern classics. It was with sadness that I heard him the other day casually allow the lyrics of one his greatest compositions – ‘Homeward Bound’ – to be bowdlerised in the name of wokery.
Simon wrote the song in 1965, when he was a relatively unknown folk singer, while reportedly sitting in Widnes railway station during a British tour without Art Garfunkel. One line perfectly summed up the bleakness, boredom and loneliness of life on the road: ‘Every day’s an endless stream of cigarettes and magazines.’
That was how millions of fans knew the words when ‘Homeward Bound’ became a Simon and Garfunkel hit in 1966. However, on last week’s Saturday Night Live 50th anniversary show, when Simon sang the song with Sabrina Carpenter, we got: ‘Every day’s an endless stream of airport lounges and magazines.’
Yes, out went cigarettes and in came airport lounges. Airport lounges? But he was sitting in a railway station! What nonsense! It doesn’t even scan. In 1976, Simon had appeared on the same show and did a duet of ‘Homeward Bound’ with George Harrison, cigarettes included. In 2025, of course, there’s no need to ask why the stupid substitution of lyrics was made: in the weird world of wokery, we can’t have anyone being encouraged to smoke.
One fawning website review of Saturday’s show said substituting cigarettes for airport lounges was ‘a minimum change, but one that speaks to our own daily world’. Oh yeah? Well, it doesn’t speak to me, and I suspect it won’t speak to other ageing fans to whom the original meant so much.
I could rant on, but it’s a waste of time and effort. Wokery, political correctness, snowflakery – call it what you like, but it is firmly embedded in Hollywood and showbusiness. We can only wait and hope for everyone to realise how farcical it all is. Perhaps Donald Trump’s strictures will have some effect, but don’t hold your breath.
Until then, I fear more Paul Simon songs will be senselessly censored to erase ‘hurty’ words. Listen out for: ‘Bridge Over Emotionally Challenged Water’, ‘50 Ways to Consciously Uncouple Your Partner’, ‘Me and Julio Down by the Comprehensive Schoolyard’and ‘Still Psychologically Maladjusted After All These Years’.
