It’s morning again in America. Trump has reclaimed the presidency, and a popular vote majority supercharges his mandate. But morning means it’s time to get to work. While we may now be unburdened by the disaster of a Harris administration, big changes are necessary. For the past sixteen years, we’ve heard the fantasies of the leftists’ plans to build America back to what they say is “better.” They had some big ideas, such as adding two new states: Puerto Rico and Washington, DC (as if there’s no need for a federal district). That, along with rescinding the filibuster, they dreamed, would ensure leftist dominance ad infinitum. One day they’ll be back in the ascendancy. I’d like to think not but realistically we have to prepare for that. We should head them off with a constitutional amendment.
My big idea for the 28th Amendment is that it sets the USA’s states at 50. No more new states. First, let’s break up with Puerto Rico. Over the years, they’ve had four referenda – in 1967, 1993, 1998, 2012 – in which Puerto Ricans voted against becoming the USA’s 51st state. Two others were either boycotted by the opposition or barely passed. If we were dating, we’d have to conclude that Puerto Rico is just not that into us. It’s time we start seeing different people. We can still be friends but “just friends.” No more benefits.
Then comes the fun part. First, all six New England states should be consolidated into one: the State of New England. No more separate Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Vermont. This wouldn’t be the first time New England was united. From 1686 to 1689 it was “the Dominion of New England.” That could have been its permanent status if not for the Glorious Revolution in England. Think of it: we have six New England states instead of one, because King William crossed the English Channel to seize control of England. I think it’s time to rectify that accident of history. If you argue that each New England state possesses a unique history and culture, the same can be said for western North Carolina from the “Research Triangle” but no one is proposing the creation of the state of West North Carolina. Besides, each of the New England states emerged from the Puritan “City Upon a Hill.” Don’t try to debate me on this. I hold a Ph.D. in colonial New England history. New England should be one state.
Then, moving south, we spin off New York City from the rest of the state. Let’s call the new state, now free of the Big Apple, “Seneca.” Next, Delaware and Maryland should be merged. They’re both small and Delaware resembles a bite taken out of Maryland. Besides, we should not have a state named after Queen “Bloody Mary,” a murderous tyrant. Baltimore, Delaware can be the joint state’s capital.
If you’re thinking, now we’re down five states, and I promised to keep us at 50 states, we have some sundering to do. Florida should be divided in two at the peninsula. I lived in Florida, and can attest it’s already two distinct regions, with the South in northern Florida and South Florida oblivious to it. Let’s call the new state, from Jacksonville westward across the pan-handle, not “South Alabama,” although I like it, but “Seminolia.” “Florida” would consist solely of the peninsula with the capital in Orlando. Everyone would be happy.
We should have three Texases. Texas is simply that good. I hate to split the original state, especially since I graduated high school there and took Texas history. It is, after all the “lone star state” but it’s a necessary sacrifice for the country. Besides, they have enough people to create three populous states: East Texas with Houston, North Texas with Dallas-Fort Worth and Amarillo, and West Texas with San Antonia, Austin, and El Paso. They’ll have to settle who gets custody of their lone star.
Finally, California gets split into three. I have also lived in California and it deserves to be split up, along the lines of the Cal 3 proposal of 2018. This would be an act of mercy to the reasonable citizens of Orange County, the San Diego suburbs, and the long-suffering folks of Fresno and the Inland Empire in the new state of South California. They’ll be freed up to elect a competent state government. We can hope.
That’s fifty states, with more equitable representation in the Senate. This arrangement is fairer than the current accident-of-history map we now have. Additionally – and this is a secret just between you (conservative reader) and me, so shhh – it’d be a boon to the Republican Party. Instead of twelve senators from New England, eleven of whom are Democrats (or worse), there would be only two. (We won’t miss Susan Collins that much.) Plus, this results in fewer iron-clad electoral votes for the Dems baked into the electoral college cake. The shrunken New York State/City would remain solidly Democrat, like the today’s New York State, but the new Seneca would be a battleground, like Pennsylvania, with winnable electoral votes. With Maryland and Delaware combined, we get only two Democrat senators instead of four. Both Seminolia and the rump Florida would typically lean red. The new tripartite Texas would normally yield six Republican senators instead of just two. Admittedly, two of the three new Californias would be sending us Kamala Harris-caliber senators, regrettably, but the new South California would be purple. Perhaps a new Ronald Reagan could emerge from it.
That’s it. That’s my big idea. Now, someone fluent in legalese write it up as a constitutional amendment, and someone else with a ton of political capital, like someone who has just won an election, champion its adoption.
P.S. Please delete the second-to-last paragraph so the left doesn’t catch on.
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The featured image is “Office for Emergency Management. Office of War Information. Domestic Operations Branch. Bureau of Graphics. 7/31/1944-9/15/1945,” and is in the public domain, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
