SOMETIMES you read an article that is so preposterous that you re-read it to make sure you hadn’t misunderstood something.
That was exactly how I felt reading the many stories concerning the alleged plot to oust Rishi Sunak and replace him with Penny Mordaunt. While not disagreeing that Sunak has proved to be a hopeless Prime Minister, the touting of Mordaunt as a successor is risible, and neatly sums up the sheer hollowness of the party.
The Conservative Party richly deserve to be obliterated in both the forthcoming local and national elections. Their stupidity and incompetence have been on display for far too long. The Tory Party of yesteryear stood for several values: economic competence, low taxes, law and order and a sense of traditional morals. These pillars have long since been torn down in a nauseating display of idiotic genuflection to ludicrous shibboleths that by and large irritate the great British public. But it is in the selection of party leaders where the proverbial men in grey suits have abdicated any sense of balance and discrimination.
Arguably the last Prime Minister who had principles and immutable values was, like her or loathe her, Margaret Thatcher. Her pygmy-like successors, both Labour and Conservative, have all been truly lamentable. Those following her into 10 Downing Street have showcased mediocrity, mendacity and disgraceful naivety.
Knowledge, common sense and ability to weigh up arguments would appear to be very low on the list of credentials required to be Prime Minister. These attributes have long been jettisoned in favour of such amazing feats as David Cameron’s ability to give a speech without notes, or in Penny Mordaunt’s case the expertise to belly-flop in a TV game show and carry a ceremonial sword without dropping it. Impressive as these talents are, one doesn’t need the brains of an Einstein to realise they are of scant practical use.
Indeed, as the Tory Party seemingly set such store by such underwhelming accomplishments, they might uncover more credible potential PMs at the Big Top. Here, they will see individuals with better and more impressive skills, such as sword-swallowers (not just carriers), fire-eaters and lion-tamers. While not exactly pertinent to running UK plc, at least they would provide entertainment to an enervated electorate. What we can guarantee if Mordaunt is anointed is a continuing never-ending volley of unpalatable political custard pies thrust into the already battered and bruised face of the public.
Watching the Tory Party currently is like being a spectator at an American execution: part of you wants to look away yet another part finds the spectacle gruesomely fascinating. Strapped to the gurney the condemned man thrashes uncontrollably as he fights for survival. Yet every lever pulled or every button pushed by a frustrated and angry populace fails to deliver the inevitable coup de grace. Seeing Sunak and assorted ministers wheeled out in front of the media pleading their case for votes, most people must simply shout ‘Are you kidding?’
Having done their very best to stymie Brexit and having stuck a metaphorical two fingers up to the people who pay their salaries, they will not be totally surprised when (it is to be hoped) they are given their long-overdue marching orders.
Starmer, will of course be an unmitigated disaster for the UK, but the Conservative Party warrants total and public defenestration.